Hollywood Executives: Baby Geniuses
Last year I watched HBO’s (now Bravo's) Project Greenlight for the first time. A young writer named Erica Beeney won the screenplay competition with a poignant, well-written script titled The Battle of Shaker Heights. I read the screenplay online, and was extremely excited to see this tight, witty, thoughtful piece of work brought to the silver screen, particularly since the winning co-directors, Efram Potelle and Kyle Rankin, created one of the most original short-short bits I have ever seen.
Seemed like this was a surefire formula for success.
Enter stage left, the cliché fat-cat Hollywood studio, Miramax. Namely, Harvey and Bob Weinstein (who founded the company, named after their mother Miriam and father Max). Now let me say for the record that the Weinstein brothers have produced some classic films, so this is not an exclusive rant against Miramax, per se.
The Miramax short list?
Sex, Lies, and Videotape
Pulp Fiction
Good Will Hunting
and yes, even The English Patient
(I tend to find myself in the same camp as Elaine in the Seinfeld episode of the same name, but I’ll concede it was a good choice in filmmaking nonetheless)
Still, the fact that Miramax has released some excellent film only serves to prove a point: it’s just a matter of time before tinsel-laden Hollywood executives sell-out to the lowest common denominator and bury the innovative, independent, and far more entertaining projects in favor of pure unadulterated schlock.
Worse yet, they take a wonderful script like The Battle of Shaker Heights, spray it down with a cheesy formulaic hose until it hardly resembles a shell of its former self, and then bury it unceremoniously in a limited release handful of theaters before sending it straight to DVD.
Hollywood is raising the prices, all the while lowering the bar. Take the following examples (statistics garnered from the highly recommended website, http://www.rottentomatoes.com/, as of September 8, 2004):
The Tops (based on reviews):
Film: Festival Express
Studio: ThinkFilm
# Theaters: 43
% Critics Recommended: 98% (56 reviews)
Film: Maria Full of Grace
Studio: Fine Line Features
# Theaters: 119
% Critics Recommended: 97% (99 reviews)
Film: Before Sunset
Studio: Warner Independent
# Theaters: 197
% Critics Recommended: 95% (132 reviews)
The Schlock (based on reviews – and a good bit of common sense):
Film: Without A Paddle
Studio: Paramount Pictures
# Theaters: 2756
% Critics Recommended: 14% (105 reviews)
Film: The Cookout
Studio: Lions Gate Films
# Theaters: 1303
% Critics Recommended: 5% (21 reviews)
Film: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Studio: Sony Pictures
# Theaters: 1276
% Critics Recommended: 0% (31 reviews)
Now I understand the fact that the first three films are being distributed by small, independent companies, but this is part of the point: the big studios won’t make – nor distribute – these films.
Think about this for a moment:
Maria Full of Grace, a film lauded by critics – recommended by 96 of 99 surveyed – is distributed in 119 theaters nationwide.
Without A Paddle, which is recommended by an anemic 15 of 105 critics, is distributed in 2756 theaters nationwide (hell, it’s in 20 theaters just here in Denver)!
What is wrong with this picture?
No coup de theatre here.
What’s worse? Here’s the current gross for this Seth Green masterpiece, in only it’s third week of release:
$39.9 million dollars.
That’s the crux, folks. In the end, you just can’t blame the fat cats in Hollywood. We’re ponying up the cash, so why would they ever consider cutting off the drivel supply chain?
Sadly, once a person realizes the sludge that is being produced by mainstream Hollywood and decides they’d rather spend their hard-earned scratch on the quality films, they can’t. Unless you live in L.A. or New York City, chances are the film’s not playing in your neighborhood. Ever.
And none of this will stop until John Q. Public quits lining up for this river of crap like a herd of 5 year-olds clambering for more cheap plastic throw-away Happy Meal toys. It’s just another example of people milling through life like a bunch of mindless cattle: the lowest common denominator wins and the fat cats get fatter.
A call to arms: make a stand, people. Get some bang for your buck – tell the Weinsteins of the world we demand better.
Hit them where it hurts: in that overstuffed Costanzian wallet.
The back seat is quiet.
Seemed like this was a surefire formula for success.
Enter stage left, the cliché fat-cat Hollywood studio, Miramax. Namely, Harvey and Bob Weinstein (who founded the company, named after their mother Miriam and father Max). Now let me say for the record that the Weinstein brothers have produced some classic films, so this is not an exclusive rant against Miramax, per se.
The Miramax short list?
Sex, Lies, and Videotape
Pulp Fiction
Good Will Hunting
and yes, even The English Patient
(I tend to find myself in the same camp as Elaine in the Seinfeld episode of the same name, but I’ll concede it was a good choice in filmmaking nonetheless)
Still, the fact that Miramax has released some excellent film only serves to prove a point: it’s just a matter of time before tinsel-laden Hollywood executives sell-out to the lowest common denominator and bury the innovative, independent, and far more entertaining projects in favor of pure unadulterated schlock.
Worse yet, they take a wonderful script like The Battle of Shaker Heights, spray it down with a cheesy formulaic hose until it hardly resembles a shell of its former self, and then bury it unceremoniously in a limited release handful of theaters before sending it straight to DVD.
Hollywood is raising the prices, all the while lowering the bar. Take the following examples (statistics garnered from the highly recommended website, http://www.rottentomatoes.com/, as of September 8, 2004):
The Tops (based on reviews):
Film: Festival Express
Studio: ThinkFilm
# Theaters: 43
% Critics Recommended: 98% (56 reviews)
Film: Maria Full of Grace
Studio: Fine Line Features
# Theaters: 119
% Critics Recommended: 97% (99 reviews)
Film: Before Sunset
Studio: Warner Independent
# Theaters: 197
% Critics Recommended: 95% (132 reviews)
The Schlock (based on reviews – and a good bit of common sense):
Film: Without A Paddle
Studio: Paramount Pictures
# Theaters: 2756
% Critics Recommended: 14% (105 reviews)
Film: The Cookout
Studio: Lions Gate Films
# Theaters: 1303
% Critics Recommended: 5% (21 reviews)
Film: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Studio: Sony Pictures
# Theaters: 1276
% Critics Recommended: 0% (31 reviews)
Now I understand the fact that the first three films are being distributed by small, independent companies, but this is part of the point: the big studios won’t make – nor distribute – these films.
Think about this for a moment:
Maria Full of Grace, a film lauded by critics – recommended by 96 of 99 surveyed – is distributed in 119 theaters nationwide.
Without A Paddle, which is recommended by an anemic 15 of 105 critics, is distributed in 2756 theaters nationwide (hell, it’s in 20 theaters just here in Denver)!
What is wrong with this picture?
No coup de theatre here.
What’s worse? Here’s the current gross for this Seth Green masterpiece, in only it’s third week of release:
$39.9 million dollars.
That’s the crux, folks. In the end, you just can’t blame the fat cats in Hollywood. We’re ponying up the cash, so why would they ever consider cutting off the drivel supply chain?
Sadly, once a person realizes the sludge that is being produced by mainstream Hollywood and decides they’d rather spend their hard-earned scratch on the quality films, they can’t. Unless you live in L.A. or New York City, chances are the film’s not playing in your neighborhood. Ever.
And none of this will stop until John Q. Public quits lining up for this river of crap like a herd of 5 year-olds clambering for more cheap plastic throw-away Happy Meal toys. It’s just another example of people milling through life like a bunch of mindless cattle: the lowest common denominator wins and the fat cats get fatter.
A call to arms: make a stand, people. Get some bang for your buck – tell the Weinsteins of the world we demand better.
Hit them where it hurts: in that overstuffed Costanzian wallet.
The back seat is quiet.
posted by Commish at 1:37 AM
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